Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A very nice article

Came across  a very beautiful article on what love is... pretty lengthy but well worth the time to read it:) 


拥抱 睡觉 不做爱 那么这个男人是真的爱她...”
偶尔和朋友闲谈,谈到爱 谈到性,
他说他在网上看到这样一句话,拥抱 睡觉 不做爱
我说如果是你,你能做到吗? 他说
我,笑怎么能,真的能吗?
如果能,他就不会和别人刚恋爱就上床,刚上床就分手了,呵呵。。。

他告诉我世界上没有爱情,爱只不过是对依恋和习惯的一种修饰 因为寂寞才恋爱
不聊了,话题结束,有些事是不适宜深聊下去的
回到家,却还一直想着这句话,
我问妈妈一个人在一切条件都具备的情况下,
可能和自己心爱的人拥抱 睡觉 不做爱吗?
妈说:"",我问:"有可能控制得住吗,那他还算男人吗?!"
时间突然停滞了几秒,妈妈转过头和我说 "...那才是真男人..."
想到了一篇文章 。。。
和最爱的人在一起一定要做的十件事
其中有一条就是 : 抱着她睡觉,但什么也不做!
什么是真爱?

不是 不是 不是占有
如果你真的爱她,你想的不是怎么去占有她的身体,
而是会很小心翼翼的保护她,不让她受一点伤害,
哪怕是自己可能给的,也不可以!

只有出于真爱,你才能真正的设身处地的为她着想。
你才会在做每件事情前考虑到这么做会给她带来什么后果,
而不是简单的想着快感,想着占有,想着满足。

读了一篇散文,觉得有一段写的特别美
"还记得那年暑假的一个晚上,我们坐在小镇河边的公园里,
傻傻的聊到凌晨3,现在想起来心里总觉得那时侯特别美好,
在那棵桃树下,雨淅沥沥的下着,我们牵着手,我的手心里全是汗水,
但我舍不得放开,我想就这样一直牵下去,雨水淋湿了你的衬衫,
不经意间我隐约看见你湿透的胸口在夜色中象树上含苞欲放的桃花一样,
那时候我真想抱紧你,深深的吻着你,但是我没敢,是我没有勇气,
但我并没有后悔,因为那些美好的情节,
那段朦胧的初恋将永远永远地印在我的心上" ... ...

看到这里你的心中是否也有涌起一丝丝悸动?
是否也想到了一些事? 是否也想起了某个人? 我相信真爱,但我只相信一次
任何人都是这样,心底总有一个永远也忘不了的她,那些清涩的故事,那些傻傻的举动
一旦那份至珍的感情结束了,人就变了,变的无所谓了,
变的世俗了,变的圆滑了,变的不再相信什么狗屁爱情了,
你还会像对待初恋女友那样,小心翼翼的保护着她的第一次吗?!

一次次的控制着自己挑战自己的自制力吗?
不会的,有那个必要吗? 甩了钱,一夜情有的是,做爱其实是件很廉价的事情,
如果你把它的实质只当一种情感的发泄,那它比你给的价钱更廉价,一分钱都不值
如果你不爱她,大可不用考虑那么多,拍拍屁股走人呗,管她那么多,
愿意负责任,我负,不愿意负,我走人 .没有处男膜吧,呵呵。。反正我不损失什么。
女人就是衣服,随便换,天凉快的时候,我都可以不穿,有了钱有了权还怕没女人吗?
如果一个男人这样想了,是的,也许他可以拥有一切,但是----却永远无法拥有真爱了
和每个人一样,也一定有一个女人住在他内心最深处,
只不过却也只能住在他自己的回忆中了,坐在一堆钱上的回忆中了 ... ...

真爱来的不容易
我们还年轻有些事情不是我们该享受的,我们也承担不起请珍惜,爱护身边的她
我们还年轻,学生时代的爱情相对于物欲横流的复杂社会是最真最纯的了,
如果你真的拥有了一份真爱,爱是寂寞撒的慌
当你们相爱时,一定慢一点上床,别以为脱了裤子就是爱
如果这样都是爱,那么扣上皮带也就该拜拜。
做爱容易说爱难~ 每个人都有初恋,初恋结婚成功率仅为千分之三!

当下大多男人会在婚前有过性行为,然而和你发生关系的女孩子成为你的新娘了吗?
没有?!冲动的惩罚更多的来自于女孩子,怀孕、流产、痛苦、伤心......
当你拥着心爱的女孩子的时候,你有没有想过,当有一天你离开她的时候,
你还能坦然的告诉自己,我曾经是爱她的,她是完整的。我给了她完整的爱?!
当你拥着初恋心爱的女孩儿的时候,望着眼前美丽的胴体,你有没有想过,
当有一天你结婚的时候,你心爱的女孩子告诉你,曾经她有过... ...
你会坦然的面对她,告诉她,没关系,你依然是我今生最美的新娘?!

而当你想起曾经的你的她的时候,你是那么爱她,而你没能给她穿上嫁衣,
你却得到了女孩儿最珍贵的东西,你能没有一丝愧疚吗?
如果你真心爱着她,请不要轻易解开你心爱女孩儿的衣服,
如果你真心爱着她,请不要轻易忘了你曾经的承诺!
如果你真心爱着她,请给她安全的臂弯,给她依靠!
如果你真心爱着她,请善待你们的每一天,让她幸福,让你们开心。

如果有一天,你将独自迎来日出和日落;
如果有一天,你的视线里再也找不到曾经的她的影子。
你却依然可以在你的天空里祝福远方的她过得幸福!
因为,你给了她完整的爱!!!!!

Just found another...

I personally loves it cos of it lyrics, so specially dedicated it to someone out there....

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Just an uneventful day

Due to the last minute change of the flight timing, I have to find ways to "waste" my 4 hours, but end up I had made it useful instead. Had lunch wif wifey, since I manage to "activate" her to join me for lunch at the airport. Though it just a simple lunch outside, but it seems like it quite a long while since we have done it liow. Though I know it only like 2 weeks ago lah. But hey, for a "couple", that is long enough liow loh. Unless she insist, it only a meal between "house-mate", then I can't complain it been too long liow:p

Arrived in Songkhla but since the vessel is in the middle of the river hence I could not get onboard and end up stuck in office. But luckily, the senior officers came to office, so I had managed to pass on the spares (yes, me a delivery boy again) to them. So at least it not a wasted trip. Hopefully, I could get onboard tomorrow if they could come alongside in the morning. As of now, at least I managed to see two CB where some of the crews still remember me, but could not say the same from my end though:p

While in office, had a discussion with a colleague here and am incline to come over to work here. It seems fun aka challenging. Of cos, it gonna be 7 day works sort of stuffs but it not like me never do before? Also, maybe it a good way for me to get out of some sticky shits which I am feeling. (Me an escapist) Or maybe it might do my career credential a favor (another oversea deployment).

Something very random.... Wow!!! There are many new gals in office but I guess I would (or could) not want to do anything. Reputation at stake and I think I am still having phobia:p Especially it ONE and no one else... for now:p

Monday, September 27, 2010

Rough moment

Never did I know that the frustration can be so intense when you have someone so close to you but yet you have no rights to say anything. Imagine I can't comments when I don't feel right. I can't say anything when I am no comfy seeing/ knowing it. The feeling that I am no longer given the undivided attention, or rather, in fact, I feels so insignificant. A call from someone and I am out. Yet I can't do anything or say anything about it. It a battle that I was told I have lost, how sad is that. I am not given ANY chance at all.

How I envy the ability of one able to find ways to get over things while I am still struggling all these whiles. Simply cos I am a weakling? I am so stupid that I do not know how to let it go? I am finding various reasons to feel the hate so maybe I can move on... but the stupid self of me just could not do so. Must learn from my house mate soon or it will just get rougher as I see how.

Below 2 songs somehow reflects my current thoughts and some of it lyrics speaks a lot about how I feel now...
別問我是誰

我的真心没人能够体会, 像我这样的人不多,为何还要让我难过。。。

到底有誰能夠告訴我


是谁说最坚强的承诺,如今却变得脆弱,请你告诉我。
是谁说要永远的等候,如今让我孤独地走。

However now... this is what I must consciously keep telling myself... 
自古多情空余恨, 此恨绵绵无绝期。 while it gonna be tough after what I have been doing all these while but 命里有时终需有,命里无时莫强求。 Must learn to let go fast fast since I can't force it...

Sunday, September 26, 2010

It tough!!!

Having to go through a week, not allowing to contact (unnecessarily). Having to concentrate on my work front with all these happenings. Then working almost like a lone ranger, with not sure what sort of support do I actually gets and at the end of the day, still kena criticized. To make matter worse, all these frustration and upsetting events, I have no one else to pour to but swallow down within myself. Every night, going back to a house where it seems so lifeless, it sure is getting tough. This had been one of the worst week of my life. But after what we gone through today, I guess there will be more of such shitty weeks ahead unless I recover myself sooner rather than later.

I have gave in so much, though not expecting to have the equivalent returns. Just a simple returns of love back to me. Is this too much to ask for? I never know I am such a weakling, especially in this department. I somehow having problem trying to let go of it.  She had always been a major part of my live and decision makings. But from now on, I guess I will just try to pick myself up soon. 

Guess I have much to learn then. 

Next... How should I disclose this to our family or rather if there is a need?