Just an uneventful day

Due to the last minute change of the flight timing, I have to find ways to "waste" my 4 hours, but end up I had made it useful instead. Had lunch wif wifey, since I manage to "activate" her to join me for lunch at the airport. Though it just a simple lunch outside, but it seems like it quite a long while since we have done it liow. Though I know it only like 2 weeks ago lah. But hey, for a "couple", that is long enough liow loh. Unless she insist, it only a meal between "house-mate", then I can't complain it been too long liow:p

Arrived in Songkhla but since the vessel is in the middle of the river hence I could not get onboard and end up stuck in office. But luckily, the senior officers came to office, so I had managed to pass on the spares (yes, me a delivery boy again) to them. So at least it not a wasted trip. Hopefully, I could get onboard tomorrow if they could come alongside in the morning. As of now, at least I managed to see two CB where some of the crews still remember me, but could not say the same from my end though:p

While in office, had a discussion with a colleague here and am incline to come over to work here. It seems fun aka challenging. Of cos, it gonna be 7 day works sort of stuffs but it not like me never do before? Also, maybe it a good way for me to get out of some sticky shits which I am feeling. (Me an escapist) Or maybe it might do my career credential a favor (another oversea deployment).

Something very random.... Wow!!! There are many new gals in office but I guess I would (or could) not want to do anything. Reputation at stake and I think I am still having phobia:p Especially it ONE and no one else... for now:p

What Support???

As some would had noticed, over the last few days, I had been scrambling to clear the shit and obviously, it did not goes too well. And today, my boss send me a mail. 

"I am not impressed with the preparation and with so many defects not rectified...."

Wow... for the first time in my working career, my boss had been very critical towards my  performance. Indicating the flaws in my arrangement and resulted all these last minute arrangements. 

Let look back on 14 Sep, in order to ensure timely re-delivery of the vessels, me had clearly send out a mail to a fellow for HOTO purposes, indicating what needs to be done. Sadly, what I see on 22 Sep onboard, nothing is done. So I called my boss, asked him about who had taken care of this, what had been done ... or rather, why was it not done!!! "Explanation" from my boss.... basically, that fellow is "busy". Wonder what his definition of busy. Cos went through the vessel DPR, that fellow only stays onboard for 2 hours (1100hr to 1300hr). So where to hell he been to after that? He only flew there on Friday, but nothing was done on last two days???

For now, I am faulted for the ill preparation.. Guess this is the support they had preached all these while. Really really sianz liow!!!

Just a thing to add... he had also commented the way I managed my guys, feeling that I am too harsh and rigid. I should change it in order to make them work, since they determine my success and they had not been very receptive towards my style. So is this suppose to be a proposal for me to change or a threat that I am destined for failure if I continue? 

Maybe he did not noticed that the entire team had not been well accepted by others and his style of management had draw questions marks from others as well. Overly protective and the guys are not performing. So is his style suppose to be better and I should follows?

Conclusion... Don't think I can work with him for too long liow.

Just a not so happening update

It had been a pretty boring yet tiring day today.

Left the hotel apartment at 6+ in the morning to catch the 1st ferry, so to be in office at earliest possible time and all these cos me had been "requested" to visit one of our client. But with this changes, me have been force to leave everything unfinished here. Kinda worry liow... Hope all turns out well:(

Late in the afternoon, when we're done with the meeting, I did tot of going bk into the Batam yard again:p BUT I guess by now, maybe I'm tired or realized not much can be done at this hour. So will just hv to "depend" on my guys to do what is essential, and do clear out the list sooner rather than later.  Hope all goes well and the vessel can sail out on time on Sat liow:p

Oh yah... just came across an interesting statement...  if 爱的深，伤的更深。所以不要爱。。。 

But I would think 爱的深，伤的更深。。。是因为那表示两人也曾经彼此相爱的很深，也享受过爱人与被爱的喜悦，那此刻的我愿意被伤的很深。所以你又为何选择不要爱了呢? 

Who am I???

Me had been asking this question a couple of times today. Cos by right, what I have been doing the entire day, might not exactly be my specific term of reference. I am suppose to have a couple of guys to handle it but somehow it din seems to be the way.

I got a number of mails from some individual, who simply just forward those mails from vessel, which was address to him, and tell them I am now in charge of the vessels, so I will follow up accordingly. Hahah... me kena tasked with jobs liow & it not from my superior. 

My 2nd call for the meeting had once again failed. Apparently, my presence (may) had turned them away:p Or they simply just bochap me loh. 

It all fun & games ahead. 

What have I got myself into???

Hahaha.... having gone MIA for the last half a week, I returned to office and 'hope" (translate in hokkien) onto some bonus:p

Came to Batam, with 3 vessels assigned to me only yesterday but of cos, over the last 1 week, I noticed there had been some corresponds and one of my guy is overseeing the progress and development of the maintenance. Even in the meeting with the bosses today, it was highlighted to me the importance of some visit that will be taking place tomorrow and now...Upon arrival at the yard this afternoon, then I realizes I'm in for a shock!!! Big shock. Things that are not suppose to go wrong, has totally gone wrong!!! Things that I tot is the bare minimum requirement is not even up to my standard!!! What more can I said??? Hahah... wonder how would the prospective think when they see it tomorrow. 

Even the yard project manager "warn" me and prep for some firing tomorrow liow. Hahaha... Great jobs lah!!!

Looking on the bright side, just checked in to the apartment, not a bad place. So at least can find comfort tonight before the firing tomorrow:p Hahaha....

Internal view... cosy and relaxing

A view from outside of the room...

Excited or Dread it???

Hahah.... woke up super early today, about 5am. Since I had already packed my stuff last nite, so why exactly do I wake up so early this morning??? Maybe I'm all excited about this Batam trip. A Do or Die mission, a bargaining chip against some one or a platform to show what I can do? Hahah... gila lah:)

I am somehow looking forward to this trp as I could take the opportunity to look a the number of vessels and its development. Spending the minimum period of days on site and able to see maximum number of vessels in one go. Especially for one particular new building progress since that will becomes my baby upon timely delivery.... if it indeed timely delivered:p

BUT I do dread it as well cos sort of knowing what type of shit to expect and what had been undone though the vessels had been there all these while. The guys whom had always been MIA-ing, claiming they are onboard preparing them, beautify them but yet I expect no significant things been done. Hope they prove me wrong.

Now standing by to proceed to office for the Ops Meeting... in a semi blind condition:P

Monday Blues

A new week, new objectives, new deadlines but the same old stress:p hahah...

Since 2 days ago, send out a mail to my guys, instructed the boys to submit their defect list according to the template and told them about the intended meeting in the morning and guess what...

The entire team is not in office today, including my direct boss. Apparently, everyone is out onboard the vessel though I seriously wonder why???:p Sigh... what a start of the new era. Even the direct boss also indicate everyone is busy so could not attend. Can't these guys plan ahead?

Then nobody even bothers to indicate in the movement board so when I ask the admin gal, she has no idea where is everyone. I have to call up individual to find out their location. WTF is this??? 

Luckily, the supposed Ops  Meeting had been postponed since my entire team is gone and me not able to answer for them loh:p Well, while I tried to consolidate the data and my guy whom had provided the data is not accurate at all!!! I mean when I asked for defects they replied nothing. But what I got from one particular vessel, send to me 9 pages of shitty stuffs. Hahaha... so now, when I questioned that fellow, he just comes up with some nonsensical, weird answers. Nothing relate to my questions in the first place. 

Hahaha... I sense tough days ahead... for me & for them as well.

Abuse of resources...

A bit of background, due to the distance from office, this particular individual gets to have a personalize driver to pick up to/fro office. Since they arrive early at 7+, so they leave by 5pm, not a minute late. Maybe a special arrangement agreed by boss??? No idea.

So since I got a gal who stays near that pax place, so I had to arrange my gal to walk over there to be pick up as well. (Which I still cannot understand why that pax cannot arrange the driver to make a detour of 400m away?). There was once I was questioned why I employed someone stays so far away??? What sort of question is this?

Anyway, this is a series of sms tonight...

Tat pax...
"Please be informed that I will be going on leave, please inform J**** that she will have to arrange her own transport to office in the morning"

Me...
"Since you are away, we can arrange J**** to continue to go over to your place for the pick up by the driver, so there is no need for him to take detour"

Tat pax...
"No driver will not come to Dubai for any pick up, which was clearly informed to you earlier that when I am on leave she takes care of her transport, that is why I do not want too much entertainment."

Me...
"Ok, noted. So that driver is especially for you only when you around."

Tat pax...
"Yes right!"

So much about professionalism. Why can't I tag along with this existing office resources since it had been abused by this particular individual? Isn't this a very selfish, unprofessional way to do things???

IB again

The IB in office is getting on my nerves again. I got an oversea colleague who came here to assist me in certain task so currently staying in his friend's apartment. Somewhere relatively near to where one of the two driver is staying. Until 2 days ago, this particular ID had been assisting to pick up my oversea colleague. Without any given valid reasons, he had stopped doing so. Was told that it becomes inconvenient, out of the way, blar blar blar...

Interestingly, all these bullshit took place only shortly after one of my colleague need to return to Indonesia. Not trying to speculate anything, but since this ID starts to report back to the IB and this bullshit starts. Pure coincident?

Calling the ID to revert back to the previous practice but giving bullshit excuses of this & that. And even come to a point that I have to ask the IB for permission? What shit is this?

Bopain, for the sake of my oversea colleague, I called tat pax. Hearing all her bullshit and machine gun like rattling non-stop. Still not giving me a firm reply even at the end of the call, wonder what is the pax trying to drive at???

Throughout the call, (which I had deliberately put on speakers, with a number of listener as well), we are all amazed by the nonsensical argument (all sort of bullshit "reasoning" like ID had moved house, which of cos not true), groundless accusation (claimed that I had shouted at the ID) and interesting threat (paying back to me in "interest" for what I did to her previously, shouting at her).

Personally, I just feels that this bloody IB just trying to feel the POWER!!! Tis pax is simply power crazy. Wanting to be in command with all sort of stuffs (trivial & unnecessary, non objective stuff). Wanting to feel the authority to push people around. Wanting to feel the power to tell ppl what to do.

Just another crazy IB!!!:)

Maybe....

Recalled back in one of my previous working place, where all the corresponds are done thru email. It is also common to see words of war flying to & fro. So since then, I had tried not to get into all these time wasting, resources wastage and ineffective, inefficient way to deal with matters. Most of the time, I would prefer to deal with the person directly, possibly face to face. Of cos, that doesn't mean email is not necessary, to keep as "black & white". Especially dealing with certain group of ppl, I am aware such "black & white" would at time turns critical.

Recently, one of my colleague (or should I consider him as my guy) had been getting on my nerves. Knowing his background, I have known long ago the importance of email saka "black & white" when dealing with him. Over the past few months, this fellow had clearly demonstrated this aspect of his "talent" and simply been using email to rebut various issues.

I have been very patient all these while. Whenever he shoot those mails, trying to correct me or trying to belittle me, I have made a more gentleman approach. In some of his mails, just clearly illustrate his ignorance and the wrong side of his attitude. But all these while, I have been telling him in a nice way on how things can be done, spoonfeeding him as some would says.

While I appreciate constructive suggestion and I would dare says that I am ever ready to accept any of these proposals. BUT this fellow simply just don't get it!!! And tonight, this fellow had once again tried his nonsense and I had enough with all his bullshit. So instead of been nice once more, I chose to shoot him down. Critical in my comments on his approach, citing his lack of knowledge, indicate his error & mistake, lastly what he need to do immediately to improve before he gets arse kicking session from me.

At times, I just feels tat this young punk simply thought he knows all, living within his own world, oblivious to the surrounding. And not objective in his approach!!! A kid that still have a long way to go. But after this mail, I guess I will have more nonsense from him in future.

Maybe... just maybe, I should revert back to how I manage my guys back in the previous company, treating them like a kid since they do not know much about initiative? Hahah... this is an insult to him if I really need to do that:p

Something to think about...

It 4am in Sg now, and in another 20hrs time, it Chinese New Year, and it so happen that this year, it coincide with Valentine Day:)

Another year of CNY & VD, yet another year without celebration wif wifey. Wonder how she feels:p Personally, me do feels that this is not healthy as the percentile of us being able to do things together on these special days are sliding down the bar further.

We have a choice but we chose to enter into this rat race, in the context of working for our future. However, interestingly 2 of my frnds I chat with, told me it high time for me to take a step back and re-look the priority in life:) Both feels that I am currently brewing a recipe of trouble, heartache & downfall, possibly due to my characters or "devotion". Something I should be able to avoid, at least for now. Career though it important but there are some other important things too. We don't married to career but we are married to another pax:)

Not like I never think about it before but the chat with them did somehow push me towards that thought even deeper into myself.

What do I want?
What I can afford to lose?
What I can't afford to lose?

Attitude

This afternoon, got a call from my colleague. Apart from discussing some jobs on hand, he made an interesting comments... I got a young chap with an attitude. And I know who is he referring to:)

Well, indeed I need to talk to that young chap soon, real soon. Based on some of the observation I made over the last 2 months, I must say... it full of craps!!!

Tasked assigned not done. When asked, crappy lame excuse, in short, no initiative? Or not interested? When what I expect is some proactive-ness, not sure if I see it at all.

Well, coming 31 Jan, is a series of update of data that I expect submission. Let see how it goes. Prior to that, I will ask my colleague for more details and gather more info and see if there is a need to talk to him.

Sigh~~~我的命， 真的那么苦（咸）吗？

2nd day in work

No intention to update on the daily basis but since me now is back in apartment, downloading some 台湾青春偶像剧 so take some time to update some un-happening thingy for the day.

I still have close to a 1000 emails to be cleared but 3 long mtgs today took up a big chunk of my time. And apart from the mtg, I got a couple of 1-to-1 discussion with some guys on some interesting PR matters as well:p

Over the last 1 month, din noe what had happen since I had not been keeping track of the happening here since my BB did not work properly back home. Maybe could consider this as a valid reason (or most may consider excuses), but in any case, at least I dun have to read the mails while on the move. Especially when I am suppose to be pre-occupied with more important personal stuff （关系到我的终身幸福）:p

The 1st mtg of the day is okay, got my guy to attend with me, taking the opportunity to update myself of the happenings since they had been the one that overseeing it all these whiles. Of cos, more update internally (within my own dept) at the 3rd mtg. So by now, I suppose I have clearer picture of the necessary follow up by the individual, though the SI are still not incline to follow up specific vessel allocation. Instead, they prefer to help out each other. Somehow, I find this not advisable since it upset the ownership of the vessel and accountability. Anyway, will need to push across the change to them slowly.

Most interesting meeting of the day is the 2nd one. Just to cut the story short... I need to improve soon:)

Okay... the 偶像剧 is almost done downloading liow. Time to relax again:)

Loosing Grip

This is the feeling. As much as I want to support the operational front of the vessels movement. But at times, I feels that the additional support or assistance rendered had sort of becoming my own department jobs.

My guys are feeling the stretch and had cited their unhappiness in it. It likes running errands for others who are paid to do the job. While I am trying to convince my guys to look on the operational front, but I feels that they are getting frustrated. Feels that I am not doing enough to protect them from doing all these unnecessary shits. One even comments that I am bowing toward the tyrant behavior and this resulted unnecessary strain between my guys and myself. I know they may be starting to see me as weak against this though they are still following my instruction.

I will be discussing with boss over this arrangement and if necessary, I may be out of this picture in future:)

Tak shiok

This is how I am feeling now...

Maybe I got up from the wrong side of the bed this morning but I just could not perks up myself till now.

Need to get myself occupied with works and dun think of it.

Naughty!!!

Today, I may had potentially made some enemies:p I am making life difficult for some people. For a start... I had rejected assistance requested to me. Or maybe not assistance? Since it was put in such a way that it is my responsibility. Hmmm... what the hell is that? I honestly don't think I should be doing her job since as far as scope of work is concern, it not my shit. In fact, it is out of courtesy, I helped. BUT no more Mr Nice Guy:)

Then I send out an email, questioning some fellows over some feedback I received from my guys, although his response is pretty much expected. So naturally, I just reverted that in order to improve the condition, I made some arrangement. An arrangement which I am very sure he would not be too keen of it. In fact, I will be expecting some response from him and his accomplice.

I know I am making things difficult for them. NO... I did not make it difficult for them. I should phrase it that I am making things the way it should be, by policy, by SOP. BUT don't think they would see it that way. In any case, I learnt that making things easy for them, had usually made things difficult for myself. So what is the point of helping them and screw up myself? At the end of the day, bosses look at result. If I don't produce the result, I am bad. So why help others??? And so, right now, I need to tidy up my own backyard first.

I will still help... BUT selectively:)

Shifting again...

I will need to shift again. I mean my office space, not the apartment.

After set up and settling down nicely at my new office, I was told to shift. Shift to the outside area where I will be together with the guys in order to make way for their dept to moves in together. I have no problem with them shifting in together or or me to shift out of this cosy table. I know the rational of this shift but I am damn TL and tak shiok wif how these f**kers benefit from doing nothing but criticizing during my initial set up. And now, happily making their way here.

On the side note, these f**ker's assistance who is staying in the apartment I have arranged for the mechanics and the boys are putting in some "weird" in-house rules. And this really got on my nerves liow. And he actually tot he owns the place?

Having the biggest room all by himself while my guys squeeze over the other room? WTF!!!

Complained when my guys return to apartment late at night after a long day in workshop?? WTH!!!

I will be looking forward to the next ops meeting, and possibly like to understand what is boss position regarding to all these arrangement!!! If I do not get any satisfactory answer, then to hell with all these BULLSHIT!!!

Change...

This morning, following the meeting... my disappointment had turn into upset.

I am angry!!!

I am tak shiok!!!

I am not happy!!!

So sianz...

Not sure if the boss is upset or disappointed with my performance or not? And to say I am not affected much with the recent internal audit is lying to myself. In fact, to be honest. I am very disappointed with myself, with my performance during the recent audit. I am not gonna point the fingers at anyone.

I got the support I need from Sg. I suppose to have the resources I need. I suppose to be able close out all those findings in time... BUT yet, sigh~~~~ This is by far my worst performance in all my years of audit I've been thru!!!

Ok, stop whining and now gotta moves on liow. I got 1 month to close out those findings. So during this period, I guess I will just have to learn to empower my guys to follow thru. I gotta be more critical towards the paperwork. No more trying to close out whatever gap all by myself. I only have 2 hands and I can only do these much. Gotta learn to have faith in the two guys I have with me liow.

It close...

Today, I received an interesting mail from someone indicated that I have blaming culture. I really wonder... When shit happens, as far as I can recall, I always try to resolve it. Never once I send a mail to them to screw them or firing at them and blame them. The firing part, only my guys kena. As till now, it don't happen regularly since shits suckz, din want my guys to have it too often. But tn the mail, in their opinion, it is me, my guys and my dept who is the cause of these problems.

Now, I am close... very very close to have a full blown explosion. I feels like telling those M****R F****R to wake up their F**king ideas. I feels like throwing the F**king chair at their head to tear it open and see what the F**k is inside there!!!

It had been a long long while since I last had my fit and back then, I recalled those who were in that room during my outburst, changed the opinion of me. Feels like shutting them off with one of this outburst!!!!